New favourite joke:

juliuscaesarofficial:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

these are the best jokes ever

awabubbles:

seizintheday:

chARACTERS WHO DON’T THINK THEY’RE WORTH ANYTHING TEAR ME APART LIKE I WANT TO PULL THEM ASIDE AND GIVE THEM A LIST OF EVERYTHING THEY’VE DONE AND EVERYTHING THEY CAN DO BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH 

image

“Do as you’re told, sweetling, it won’t be so bad. Wolves are supposed to be brave, aren’t they?”
hellish